The time is 2:04 in the morning. And I am ever so tempted to scroll down to the settings tab of this page and click on the button that reads: "Delete This Blog". Why? Well I honestly don't know why I have just created this thing right now. My life is not particularly anything fascinating, really. Most especially not as of late, due to the start of the vacationing portion of this lovely warm season. Others might think otherwise but these summer days seem long and lazy, however I suppose that's just how I like them, at times. Except for the current moment, when I would actually rather be doing random things like, I don't know, jumping off of cliffs while being attached to rope, or having a needle continuously inserting ink into the depths of my epidermis (the tentative "Day of Change" my friends and I have scheduled, during which each of us will make lifetime alterations to our bodies through the form of tattoos, piercings, etc., is soon approaching with much anticipation). I forgot where I was going with that, but anyway, why exactly have I decided to start this blog? I have no desire to express my political views or entertain the masses of the internet world with my slightly "witty" banter. Last night, I was being quite the nostalgic one and I was flipping through the pages of my old internet blog from 5 years ago on the much outdated website, Xanga. Now I won't post a link to said Xanga because I don't wish upon myself that kind of blatant humiliation. However, reading text that was dated June 2003 felt so... surreal and, quite frankly, weird. In September, I will be starting college. The stuff that I read throught last night were ramblings from a girl who would only just be begining 8th grade the next school year. Crazy how someone can change so much in such a short period of time.
So really, for the last time, why am I even doing this? I've always been afraid of just waking up in the morning and not remembering a single memory at all. That kinda thing scares me, because I'm such a person to get nostalgic about memories. That, and I have a certain anal-retentiveness about details (as you can see, because it took me this long to answer a simple question that I posed 500 words ago. -_- ). It brought me an inexplicable joy to read that in September of 2003, while watching Jackie Chan's "The Medallion", I sat next to Leena and Jeremy, and that during the middle of the film, Peter tossed his cow-patterned hat across several seats to our side of the row. Many people would not think anything of that, but reading little daily ramblings of my life years later, or even a couple months or weeks later puts a smile on my face, because tangibly seeing that things fall into the places they're supposed to is frikkin cool. So all in all, back then, I did not care if people read my blog or not. I didn't care if my entries were comment-less. Like I said, I'm not here to spread words of profundity to the world. It's really just for when my amnesiatic future self, succumed to her greatest fear of being void of all memory wants to know what went through her mind at the ripe age of eighteen. But if in some strange way, this happens to become of some petty entertainment to another living individual, then, I guess that's pretty cool too. :]
tracy.
So really, for the last time, why am I even doing this? I've always been afraid of just waking up in the morning and not remembering a single memory at all. That kinda thing scares me, because I'm such a person to get nostalgic about memories. That, and I have a certain anal-retentiveness about details (as you can see, because it took me this long to answer a simple question that I posed 500 words ago. -_- ). It brought me an inexplicable joy to read that in September of 2003, while watching Jackie Chan's "The Medallion", I sat next to Leena and Jeremy, and that during the middle of the film, Peter tossed his cow-patterned hat across several seats to our side of the row. Many people would not think anything of that, but reading little daily ramblings of my life years later, or even a couple months or weeks later puts a smile on my face, because tangibly seeing that things fall into the places they're supposed to is frikkin cool. So all in all, back then, I did not care if people read my blog or not. I didn't care if my entries were comment-less. Like I said, I'm not here to spread words of profundity to the world. It's really just for when my amnesiatic future self, succumed to her greatest fear of being void of all memory wants to know what went through her mind at the ripe age of eighteen. But if in some strange way, this happens to become of some petty entertainment to another living individual, then, I guess that's pretty cool too. :]
tracy.
2 comments:
I love you tracy. I can't believe how alike we are, and how we actually hide it until the situation comes! Haha. I'm adding your link on mine :)
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